Sometimes I hear people at work complain about their lives and how it’s not going the way they wanted to.
They don’t have the car they wanted
Their careers are not where they want it to be
They never have enough money.
The list goes on and on and on. It does not matter what social group you are attached to the game is all the same.
People not being able to steer their own lives rather they let someone else dictate how to live their lives!
To that I say BULLSHIT!
If you are not happy where you are in life it’s all your fault! It’s not Obama’s, Trump, ISIS, foreigners, illegal aliens or whatever boogeyman the media wants to promote to keep you docile and obedient.
Those people outside in your world have no clue about what makes you happy or how you view success. For all you know you are already successful In your own way.
I came up in a Blue Collar family. Dad worked and Mom stayed home and took care of us. This arrangement at that time and even now is rare when you grew up in the inner city of NYC. Where Single Moms reigned supreme, where welfare and section 8 was the only work hiring at the time. Where Criminals were looked at as leaders.
Growing up I that enviroment makes a person see the world in a different view. While most people see the world in black and white, people who grew up in those environments see the world as grey. Gret in that anyone can be a saviour as well as a Evil tyrant.
Where Police can be viewed with respect in one neighborhood and then can be viewed as a criminal in another.
I decided a long time ago that this was not going to be my life. That I will not end up in a street corner peddling poison to my friends just to make a buck. To end up in prison for a lifetime over some dumb shit.
That was not my goal!
So while my buddies dropped out of school to pursue a life of crime, my ass went to school.
I dealt with the bullying, with being invisible. I dealt with being joked on because I did not have the latest 200.00 dollar sneakers. I endured and endured! Never once telling my Parents about what I was going through.
These kids today have it so good!
While all of this was happening I still put a smile on my face to my Parents so that they would not worry about me. Deep inside though I was in pain.
I buried that pain deep inside of me and I still carry it to this day. Being told that whatever I did was not good enough from both those in Authority and by even my parents. It’s a lot of weight to carry for any young man to carry.
I thought of Suicide at times when things were so over my head. But I could never bring myself to do it. A voice in my head would tell me not to, while the razor was on my wrist. That voice would say “Stop being a Pussy! Only Pussies kill themselves!”
I would spend my time reading. Reading about History and other things of interest like cultures and other countries. These times made me realize that the world is a lot bigger than the Block I lived in. It made even more sense when we got the chance to spend a Summer In Spain where my Father is from.
When I saw that world my blindness began to see the world as a place that was different. Where people are not like those from my neighborhood, a place where I can go to and be far away from the Ghetto.
The time came when I decided it was time for me to come out from hiding and to step up the plate. And slowly and surely I did as I decided to make the biggest decision of my life! Going to College? Get real! My Parents could not afford for me to go to college. Besides I was not interested in that and found it to be bloated and unrealistic .
They say College teaches you about life. That’s bullshit! There is no way you can learn about life in a classroom you actually have to experience it. So I did the next best thing! I joined the Military.
I remember going to the recruiter by my self at 17 years old and asking what I needed to do to join. I remember sitting there listening to the recruiter’s sales pitch on how I was making a great choice and all that.
Since I was still not of legal age my Parents had to sign for me. So I went with the Recruitwr to my house and introduced him to my Parents. I remember the look on my Dads face when I told him this is what I wanted to do. I guess he thought I could not do it and he went and signed the papers.
I left the end of that Summer to boot camp. I did not know it at the time but my world was going to change completely during those 4 years I was away.
I remember bumping into people I knew back then and telling me how much I have changed. Even my Parents were extremely proud of me. Even I was happy for the first time of my life. I reached out and grabbed what I wanted.
Now that I knew I could do things to bring change into my life there was no stopping me. I worked, I traveled and met many people especially Women. You see when it came to Women I was an extremely shy young man. I did not like to be in limelight because if I did I would tend to Stutter to a point that I could not get the words I wanted to say out of my mouth.
But none the less I put myself out there forcefully even if deep inside I was trying to hide I stood there stuttering and all until one day I became comfortable enough to speak without being scared.
Those 4 years has opened me up to what I am now. A man comfortable enough with himself to not give a shit about what others think. It gave me the self confidence that I sorely lacked back then.
I practiced when there myself everyday looking at my cars rearview mirror. Telling myself I can do anything I put my mind to. Worked and better myself and I never looked back. I just kept going kicking one door after another.
That is my life back then and it’s my life now! I live by the seat of my Pants everyday! Even my younger brothers are amazed when i tell them what I have done or am doing.
I realized something as I write this. That my life is not boring at all. As a matter of fact compare to some people my life is great!
No one can give you greatness! You give yourself greatness.
God put you here to make a difference. What that is only you know deep inside. Don’t ignore the feeling or that little voice telling you to do it!
Grab your life by the f**king throat and make it yours! Hold on tight to it! Experience your life so you can have stories to tell others of your exploits!
Don’t be afraid! Live for something rather than nothing. Cause your dead you can’t come back.
Am I happy? For the most part i am. I’m living a life of success rather than that of depressed.
I can go on and on about the many things thatjhave happened to me good and bad. But why? You get what I’m saying!